29 and 1
by justagirlwithwordyideas
Summary: There are 29 one ways to say "I love you" and the blunt way. Watch as Albus and Scorpius discover them. \\underage drinking, swearing, canon character death/
1. All the Ways

_**A/N: Every italic represents one way the pair says I love you. Thanks for reading, comment and favorite please! I apologize for it being so long.**_ _I thought if I just followed the rules everything was going to be okay._ That has been my life strategy so far, I do what Mum and Father say and I obey teachers. I was always the favorite so well behaved and so good. I shared my family's beliefs and went with the fads my parents _But you came along and pushed me off that path._ All of a sudden you were convincing me to break rules and try new things; it was almost as if you helped me become a whole new person. And at first my parents didn't like you much. I mean after all you are Harry Potter -their arch nemesis- son, but eventually they came around to you which isn't something that happens often.

* * *

The first time we met I was sitting alone in my train car feeling particularly blue with the weight of Mum's new diagnosis sitting heavily on my heart. You came in with a girl our age trailing behind you. You were happy and carefree something that I never saw before in my life. It was very clear that the girl -your cousin Rose- didn't believe in second chances and saw me exactly as my parents, which resulted in her storming off and leaving us alone in the cabin. I gave you some of the sweets Mum gave me and you shared some of you Chocolate Frog Cards. I think we became friends right there but the whole Rose Thing ™ was bothering me. We had a nice time playing Exploding Snap and talking about our futures at Hogwarts.

"Hey, I'm going to catch up with my cousins. _But Scorp, I plan to get to know you_ ," Albus said to me with a half smile and then he was gone.

I was so confused. Did this mean we would talk again? Does this mean that Albus wanted us to be friends? And for the first time in what seemed like eleven years I had hope that Hogwarts would be as fun as Mum and Aunt Daphne made it seem.

* * *

It was a few weeks after term started and I had been sorted into Slytherin that I started feeling blue again. It wasn't because I hadn't seen Albus because I had. We had been sorted into the same house and then into the same dorm. It was just that I felt either ignored or like a trophy on display. I'm either ignored for being shy or on display because the rumor about me being Voldemort's child where flying.

Okay and the tiniest bit because I actually did miss Albus' company. Which I know is strange because we only spent three hours together once but his promise to get to know me was swirling in my head at all time. It was strange, I guess I just really liked the prospect of friends which was disappointing because I didn't have any. Except Albus who would pop in once his rule abiding Gryffindors had gone to sleep and he would engage in mind-numbing small talk.

One rainy Saturday morning I was sitting at our table in the Great Hall when Albus sat down next to me. I looked at him and felt a mix of emotion swim in me. Confusion. Happiness. Betrayal. Shock. Anxiousness. This must have made for an interesting expression because LAbus looked very concerned all of a sudden.

" _Are you okay_?" he asked, tilting his head slightly to the side.

I shook my head in confusion but then said: "Yeah, I'm fine."

Albus stared at me intently for a few seconds before shrugging and taking heaping of portions of food and putting them on his plate. "How have your first few weeks been? Mine have been good but not as fantastic as Mum and Dad made them sound."

"Oh well, that's a let down I guess," I said, struggling for words. "They've been okay. Lonely."

"Lonely? Why Scorp? You're always surrounded by people in the common room. I just thought you had more relevant friends. You should have told me, we could have hung out," Albus said in between bites of food.

I felt my mood lighten significantly and I didn't fight the small grin that crept on to my face.

And to my surprise at lunch an elder owl flew over to me with a note that said 'library at 8 tonight ~Albus.'

* * *

"You came," Albus said looking up from the book he was reading not bothering to hide his shock.

"Well, you sent the note and friends show up right?" I said. I sat down next to Albus and kicked my feet back and forth on the ground for a silent moment. "We are friends right?"

"Yeah of course, Scorp. Sorry I wanted to finish that page. Let's go I want to show you some place." Albus hastily tucked his book into his bag and started walking out of the library and into the hallway. He led me up a flight of stairs and then paced three times. I stared, of course I did he was pacing in front of this wall and then there was a door. He waved me over and of course I followed him into… what I imagine was his room.

I was right, he introduced the room as his own and then flopped down on the bed while I curled into the bright green bean bag. We talked casually for a while just trading simple questions about favorite colors, childhood memories and savored foods.

"You know Rose had this crazy big crush on you?" Albus asked me after I had just finished laughing at his recount of the Yule ball from our parents time and the question made me start laughing all over again.

"You can't be serious. She hates me," I finally said.

"No way. She's always going on about how you're so smart and braven and what was it…'incredibly cute'," Albus said trying to make his voice sound like Rose's.

"Well blimey. That was unexpected." I fiddled with the tag of the bean bag. "Maybe I'll ask her out. She's a half blood so my parent wouldn't totally flip but its Granger-Weasley so."

"Seriously? You'd make her so happy. I mean I don't know how you'd put up with her but she'd be psyched."

"It could be fun I guess."

Albus then found his home pack of Exploding Snap and we played for a while before we noticed the time and realized we should head back to the dorms. We walked quietly and quickly down the hallways and when we reached the outside of the portrait hole Albus stopped walking. He looked up at me through his messy bangs and well I felt seen for the first time.

"It was nice tonight, we should do it again. _It's nice getting to know you_ , _you seem_ …" Albus started.

"Like Voldy's decedent?" I remarked darkly. I rolled my eyes and lifted my head enough to meet my companions eyes. "Which I'm not."

" _Charming._ The word I'm looking for is charming," Albus said, looking right back at my eyes.

I lowered my eyes feeling suddenly shaken. Albus muttered the password and we walked to our dorm in silence. As we changed hastily and I flopped onto my bed I heard Albus mutter a simple good night.

And of course I was up almost all night think about and rethinking what Albus had said before we walked into the common room.

* * *

"There's no more bacon? Seriously? Aren't these plates to refill themselves when they empty?" I hissed under my breath, glaring at the bacon plater while taking a scoop of eggs for myself.

"Do you want some of my bacon? I don't need all of this," Albus said offhandedly then turning back to his potions essay.

"I can see if there's some at the Gryffindor table, baby," Rose offered.

I shook my head. "Really Albus, may I have some?"

"Of course. _Take what you need_." Albus said, looking up and gave me one of his tilted half-smiles.

Rose was looking at me peculiarly.

"What, Ro?" I asked.

"Nothing, baby. I forgot, I promised I'd meet a few friends from my house. Talk to you later," she said standing up and fleeing.

* * *

"Are you guys still together?" Albus asked me one day while we were in the Room of Requirement.

"Who?" I asked, playing dumb. I really didn't want to answer that question; since it was complicated. We were still technically but it was getting stretched thin and distant.

"You, my best friend, and Rose, my cousin," Albus said. "I know you knew that."

"Yeah I guess."

Albus tossed down the quidditch magazine he was flipping through. "Seriously? How do you not know?"

"I mean technically we're still together but -I don't know- it strange."

Albus scooted closer, like he was interested in this stupid second year gossip about his dorm mate and cousin. "How?" I opened my mouth to sart and he interrupted me. "And don't you dare say 'How what?'."

"Okay, okay. I just mean it's been different. She's always busy and we're just distant most of the time." I didn't bother to hide the truth, I knew I could be honest with brunet in front of me.

"You should break up with her?"

"What? Why? Why would I do that without a good reason?"

"You do. You guys just don't work well together anymore. If you drag this out you'll end up together forever; together but lonely. _You'll be lonely all your life, and you don't deserve that."_ Albus said, putting a hand on my shoulder. He was looking at me so firmly I knew I had to listen to him.

I looked at him with what I hoped was the same stubbornness and said, " _You don't deserve it either ."_

 _oOOoOoOoOo_

A week or so later I confronted Rose and told her I didn't think we would work out and that we should go our separate ways. She was angry, almost as angry as the stories Father tells of the Weasleys he knew in school. I always thought those tales where exaggerated but I'm starting to rethink that. After our last class of the day I was heading to the kitchens for a glass of pumpkin juice when I ran into Albus and a pack of his cousins. All of them except for Albus were glaring at me.

I took a deep breath. "Can I talk to you Albus?"

The cousins continued glaring while Albus nodded and stepped away.

"I'm sorry about them. I tried to get them to see logic-" Albus started but I cut him off.

" _Thank you for your advice._ " I said. I gave a week grin and then turned away walking to the kitchens. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Albus standing where I left him for a few seconds before joining his family again.

* * *

"And Weasley hits the quaffle towards Zambini. Potter, Potter sees the snitch and he takes off. And Potter caught the snitch. Slytherin wins." The announcer calls the plays with excitement, well except when he must acknowledge that our house won. Our section of the bleachers cheers wildly while the Gryfindoor side boos.

I clap so hard my place hands turn pink. The excitement of our win makes me forget the whipping wind and the gently falling snow. "Woo go Slytherin! Go Albus!" I call but it's almost inaudible over the roar of crowd. As the crowds empty I hang behind with a few of my fellow third years waiting for the team to come out from the locker rooms. When they come out showered and still hyper. Everyone highfives Al and gives their closer friends congratulations.

"Hey that was great, Al," I said, not bothering to try and hide the smile that the win had etched into my face.

"Thanks, Scorp. You should totally try out next year, it'd be so much fun!" Albus grabbed me into a hug. I could feel the skin of his face stretched into a smile while his head was pressed against my neck.

"Not my thing, Al," I said as my friend pulled away. "Since when do we hug anyway?"

Albus blushed bright red and started stuttering. "I mean I was just… The thrill of the win...best friends I guess."

I chuckled a little and held up my hand. "Calm down its no big deal."

When I said this Albus visibly relaxed and deflated. "Good. I didn't think it was but."

"But what?"

"Nothing. Come on, let's race to the common room."

I shook my head. "Seriously, Al? You know I can't run, plus _you've exerted yourself enough for one day ."_

"That's no fun," Al protested but fell into step next to me as I strolled to the castle.

oOoOoOoOoOo

The party was full swing in the Slytherin common room. Every win in our house was celebrated as the biggest accomplishment ever, but I think we just like an excuse to stay up past dawn and party. It was about eleven which means all the housemates under third year had gone to bed, except ALbus who had made the winning catch and I -

who he had smuggled in.

An hour or so later Albus was pouring some mix of pumpkin juice and 'Thanksgiving Flavored Vodka' into red, plastic cups. He looks up at me. "Want one?"

I laughed and leaned forward onto my elbows(I had been on my feet nonstop since ten a.m. and I was starting to feel the consequences of that). " _May I?"_

" _Free of charge_ ," Albus said when he finished laughing along with me. He ladeled more of the concoction into another cup and handed it to me.

I took a sip and the strong taste hit me hard. I swallowed through the burning sensation and put on a fake smile. "Thanks."

Two more cups later the common room felt cramped and hot. I couldn't tell if the buzz in my body was from the alcohol or something else. Albus and I where still talking although couldn't keep up with the conversation in this state, I'm not sure we were even making sense to be honest. We were laughing over something stupid one of us had said when my elbows gave out and my upper body flung itself forward. I felt the pain ring in my body when my forehead collided with Albus'. Neither of us pulled away, we were just staring at each other with our foreheads connected. My breaths where coming in short gasps and my skin was suddenly warmer than it already was. After what seemed like forever we broke apart by commotion elsewhere in the common room.

And that's when I realized everything for me changed.

* * *

"Oh Merlin...Krum...here... Quidditch intensive...this week... all seekers. Can you believe this, Scorp?" Albus said in one flowing breath as he slid into the bench across from me.

"What did you just say? _You're confusing me._ " I said, looking at Albus mildly amused over the rim of my orange juiced filled goblet.

Albus put some eggs and bacon on his plate and practically inhaled them before answering my question. "Victor Krum is coming here. To have a workshop with all the seekers. Do you understand the magnitude of this?"

"Magnitude is a big word, Al. And doesn't your Aunt Hermione know Krum couldn't she just call him up for you and the cousin pack?"

Albus cowled and threw a piece of toast at me. "Aunt Hermione would never do that. But still Victor Krum here at Hogwarts."

I brushed the crumbs off my shoulder. "Has happened before. He took your aunt to the Yule ball."

"Will you please stop, Scorp? I want to enjoy this, please and thank you." ALbus looked at me with his stern yet pleading look.

I nodded and finished off my breakfast, gathering my bag and checking the time on my watch.

Albus brightened and tossed me his trademarked half-smile.

* * *

It was the first game of fourth year- Ravenclaw vs Slytherin- last years winner and the runner up. A great way to start the season. I watched, content in the mild autumn sun as Albus and the rest of the team kicked off. It was close the whole time. The keepers and chasers where constantly going at it and the seekers where so fast racing around you could barely see them. It came up to a rogue bludger that knocked Albus off course, letting Ravenclaw win.

I clapped politely but I could see the rage and pain already in Al's form. I raced down into the pitch and gave all the team members a hug or high five congratulating them on their great game. I walked over to Albus and pulled him into a tight yet brief hug. (A hug which made me almost forget how to breathe and make my skin tingle for hours afterwards.)

"This isn't your fault. You did everything you could have," I whispered into his ear as I pushed his limp form off of me. He shrugged and rolled his eyes sadly - I don't know if that's even possible but Al pulled it off. I nudged him into the loop with his teammates and headed to our dormitories to take a quick, well not really, shower before the rest of my team got back. I had stepped out and was wrapped in a towel standing in front of one of the vanities with long mirrors brushing out my hair when I heard the telltale sounds of a party staring in the common room. I hurried drying and got dressed as quickly as I could and skidded into the common room. Sure enough there where games of beer pong set up and people dancing and someone doling out drinks.

"Where's Albus?" I asked, taking something blue from the 'bartender.' I knocked back a sip and had to hold back a gag it was...strong. I detested drinking but it seemed to be the favored past-time down here.

"Your boyfriend?" the bartender asked.

"He's not my boyfriend. What is it with you guys and that? Where is he?" I said taking another terrible sip.

"Because last night while you were doing 'homework' you were actually sitting on his lap. And I think I heard him say he was going to the kitchens," the bartender rolled his eyes as he spoke and used his wand to make a martini shaker shake itself.

"We were doing homework. I couldn't see it from the other chair. Anyway, thanks for the drink, see you later," I said, sliding away from the makeshift bar.

I crawled through the portrait hole and walked down the empty hallways with the glass of blue stuff in it. I tickled the pear and the door to the kitchens swung open. I ducked to fit into the low door and scanned the room for my quiditchstar best friend. I spotted him curled underneath a table holding something close to his face.

"Hey, Al," I said, doing my best to sit down next to him.

"What are you doing here? You should be at the start of season party," he mumbled darkly.

"Oh no don't even go there. Albus, you're my best friend you're more important than some stupid party where I don't even fit in. What's up?" I said, lowering my voice so any passing elves wouldn't hear.

Albus looked at me. His skin looked very pale even in the dim room and his breathing seemed very slow - contrary to mine which seemed to be coming every half a second. "You need to go, Scorp. I want-no need to be alone right now."

" _I'll leave if you ask me too,_ but Al, the loss isn't your fault. It could have happened to anyone. It was a stray bulger." I toyed with the hem of my pants before starting to stand. I looked at Albus one more time as he swayed, losing his balance and passing out it looked like.

"Albus!" I shouted, diving towards him. I grasped at the edges of his hair trying to keep his head from hitting the cold tiles. I pulled his head back onto my lap. What was wrong with him?

To be fair I was panicking. Very much. It finally came to me that maybe I should take him to the hospital wing. I dragged him out from under the table and then picked him up bridal style. I thanked Merlin for the late time as I walked down the halls carrying my unconscious friend. When I got to the big, wooden double doors that encased Madam Pomfrey's office I kicked them lightly hoping it resembled a knock. Sure enough a few moments later she swung the door open.

She looked cool and collected before the concern set in. "Bring him in, Scorpius. Do you know what happened or did you find him like this?"

I staggered into the hospital trying to regain my momentum after standing still for a while. I plopped Albus down onto the nearest bed and Madam Pomfrey closed us off from the rest of the wing with a thing blue curtain. "Can you fill this out, Scorpius?" Madam Pomfrey began the diagnostic spell as soon as she handed me the clipboard.

The silence was heavy as we waited for the spell to process and for me to finish the paperwork. A bell rung and I looked around for it but didn't see one. Suddenly a screen appeared in the air. **Diagnosis: Alcohol poisoning. Advised treatment: hangover potions, 24 hour bedrest and liquid intake.** Madam Pomfrey frowned but took a hangover potion from her supply cabinet and poured it into an IV that was pumping into Al's system.

"He should wake up soon. When he does call me and I'll start pumping him with liquids," she said. She spun on her heel and walked out of the 'room'.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Where am I?" A groggy voice asked.

I straightened up in my shair. "Al. You woke up, finally." I took a minute to thank Merlin that he was okay. "Lemme go get Madam Pomfrey." I stood up and left the room and soon returned with the school's nurse.

"Good to see you, Mister Potter. How are you feeling?" Madam Pomfrey laid a hand on his forehead and then pressed his stomach in different areas.

"Cold and tired," Al said.

"How is your stomach feeling? Do you have a headache?"

"No, what happened?"

Madam Pomfrey tsked and pulled out her wand. She set a heating charm and then sat down next to me. "You have-had alcohol poisoning. I've been pumping you with hangover potions which I recently changed to liquids. You had your friend and I very concerned. But now that you're awake I'll contact your Mum and Dad and the Headmistress. "

"What? No! Please, not my dad. He already hates me enough I don't need you to make him hate me more," Albus pleaded.

Madam pomfrey looked heavily conflicted. "Well then, I'll refer you to one session with Dr. Clarke, our schools therapist and I suggest you confiding in a friend. You could have died last night little Potter. You should be much more careful." And with that she was off.

Al looked at me. "I didn't even know Hogwarts had a therapist."

I rolled my eyes at his poor attempt of humor in this not funny moment. "This isn't funny, Al. You could have **died**. Like dead." I shook my head the tiniest bit.

"It isn't that deep, Scorp. We lost because of me I was just having a few drinks I must have lost count." Albus shrugged and rubbed his arms.

I tossed him the blanket. "It is that deep. Dead, Albus, dead. _If anything were to happen to you._ You can't do this again."

He looked at me with a mix of exasperation and anger. Held held the looks for a few seconds before deflating into a shrug. "Fine, I promise I won't drink again until I'm of age."

"Good. you have no clue how worried I was, Al." I got up and hugged him as Madam Pomfrey reentered the room.

* * *

Summer was long. So, so long. It felt like an endless number of days ticking away at the pace of a snail. So one day I pulled out a sheet of parchment and a bottle of ink with a quill and wrote a letter to Mr and Mrs Potter introducing myself and asking to visit Al for a weekend before school started again.

Waiting for a reply seemed like torture. I waited precisely three and a half days before my owl, Stella, came flying through my window with a small parcel and a rolled up piece of parchment. I opened the note which was written by Ms Potter saying she and her husband would love nothing more than to have a friend of Albus' over. She said this Friday to Sunday evening would work. I asked mum and she thought for about two second before squealing and saying I needed to get out of the Manor. Father agreed with her and even said that Harry had owled him first making sure okay with him. I was ecstatic. The days creeped by until it was finally Thursday at noon.

I went downstairs for lunch and was fairly surprised to see Mum sitting on the formal dining room table reading a book. She greeted me happily, gestured me to sit and then called in a house elf to make us cucumber tea sandwiches. We chatted happily and then ate in a happy silence. Mum sent me upstair to pack and I took my time doing so. I then sat down and began running through some practice rune equations. Time flew by and I was only shaken from my stupor when a house elf informed me to go downstairs because Mum had called a family dinner. We ate first in silence and then Mum cleared her throat.

"Scorpius, I'm very excited that you're going to a friends house but your father and I have a few rules we would like if you followed," she said. She took a sip from her cup and did a move I recognized as her trying to shake off a headache.

"1) no rekindling with Rose or any funny business including Weasley or Potter girl," Father said, he took a breath like he was about to continue when Mum cut him off.

"Or any Potter or Weasley boy if you're into that."

I blushed hard and my father cleared his throat.

My father picked back up. "2) behave. Use your manners and represent the Malfoys well. And 3) if we write to you write back as soon as possible."

I nodded.

My Mum smiled and reached out, squeezing my hand. "Now go to bed. I'll send up a cup of tea you need to be well rested. We leave a noon since it's a four hour drive to their part of muggle London."

I nodded again at a loss for words. I stood turning for the stairs before looping back and giving each of my parents a quick hug.

Thee next morning I showered, ate and double checked my weekend bag and then started doing more runes problems. Finally Mum poked her head in telling me it was time to leave. We walked together to the car that Dad and the driver were already in. The ride was filled with jovial family chat and a quick hour snooze for me. When we pulled into the suburban neighborhood I started buzzing with nervous energy. I was going to meet Al's parents and siblings for real. I felt like I was going to explode.

What I didn't count of however was that Hermione and Ron's and Angelina and George's Weasleys would be there. Father got out of the car and walked with me to the front door. He knocked on the door. Ron ambled over and was about to open the door but froze when he noticed it was Father and I through the glass square in the door.

"Ha...Harry, Malfoy and his spawn are on your stoop." we heard him say. I looked at father and he nodded at me putting a hand on my shoulder. There was some commotion inside and finally Ms Potter opened the door.

"Draco, Scorpius! It's nice to see you, please come in. scorpius, Harry will take your bag to Al's room. Draco, would you like some tea?" she spoke hurried yet motherly as she stepped aside and ushered us into her home.

Sure enough Mr Potter took my bag and dissapearded down a long hallway while Ms Potter showed me into the living room.

"What are you doing here?" Al asked clearly confused.

" _I wanted to see you again,_ of course," I said. Itried to sound a lot more confident then I was since now Al's siblings and four of his cousins where siting on the living room floor with a now abondoned game of exploding Snap.

Al gave a tilted half-smile and embraced me in a hug. "I'm glad oyu cam," he whispered, "this is the best surprise ever."

I couldn't help but smile as he backed away. I looked up and Rose was standing in front of me. She took me into her arms and I returned the friendly hug.

"What are you doing, Rose?" her little brother, Hugo, asked.

"We broke up two years ago, we're past that. Friends right?" she said, directing the last part to me.

"Yep. Nice to see you, Rose."

"Scorpius, come here," Father called. I turned quickly and walked over to him. "Goodbye son. Remeber the rules and remeber that Mum and I love you. Have fun."

"Love you too," I said and watched stilled in place as Father thanked the Potters and walked himself out. I started to walk back to where Albus and his siblings/cousins where when Ron cornered me.

"You're the lad that broke Rose's heart, huh?" he said in a low voice.

"With all due respect Mr Weasley, we agreed that it jsut wasn't working anymore. It was hard for both of us." it took a lot to start shaking in fear as I spoke the words but I did actually start shaking when he lifted his hand like he was going to strike me.

"Ronald Weasley, what on Erath do you think you're doing? Scorpius is a guest and that means he's family. Do you hit family now, Ron? Imagine what Mum would say?" Mrs Potter said. I hadn't noticed her in thr oom but now she was edging closer to me. "Albus, dear, go to the living room."

I did as she said and imersed in the group of Weaselys and Potters. They really arent as bad as I always imagined. Eventually Hermione walked in, looking father angry, and told us to have a good night and told Hugo and Rose ot get their stuff together so they could leave.

That night while Albus and I lay next to each other in his bed he rolls ovr to be facing me. I roll over and now aour faces are inches apart almost like that night years ago.

"I heard what happned with Unvle Ron, Scorp. I'm so sorry," he whisperes.

"You couldn't control it. It's okay. Not everyone likes the Malfoys," I whispered back. I felt my heart ahmmering in my chest adn my breathing not actually bringing any air into my lungs.

And the next thing that happned was something from my wildest dreams. Albus inched foward the tiniest bit, he pause looking up at me with a terrified look in his eyes and then he brushed his lips against mine. Just as quick as it started it was over. He was still looking at me with his terrified eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Scorp. I wasn't thinking and I just acted," he said so lowly I almost didn't hear.

"Hey, slow down it's okay." it's more than okay, I thought but I wasn't going to say that out loud.

"Can we just forget that ever happened?"

I nodded. But really I never wanted to forget that. And you can imagine my joy when I woke up with his arms wrapped around me.

Saturday was thrilling. We went to a muggle amusment park with Mr and Mrs potter, James, Lily, Hugo, Rose and Hermione. It was so cool, and I discovered my love for this contraption called...rollercoasters. We were eating dinner back at the Potter household when there was a scrathching at the window.

"That's father's owl," I said, standing up and going to let it in. I took the scrowl and gasped. I felt numb as Mrs Potter walked up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder.

"What's wrong, Sweethart? That was quite the noise you made," she said.

I dont know what came over me as I spun around and clung on to her in an akward hug. But in true potter fashion she hugged m eback and told me whatever happned it would eb okay. I finnaly told her my mother likely wouldn't make through the weekened and soon she had the whole house on task. Al repacked my bag, Mr Potter flooed Father, she and Lily she put together a care package while James gota few warm blankets from the closet for me to take to my mom. After what seemed like forever the Potters said good-bye to me. Mr Potter went through first crrying the care package and the bag. Just as I was about to step through the fire place Al called out my name, I paused and looked back.

" _I don't need these, you have them_ ," he says quietly, tuckinng a few pumpkin pasties into my hand. I give a small smile and with that I disapear in the green flames leting myself go home.

* * *

I was in the library trying to find a book that Professor Sprout claimed would help me with my fifth year herbology course when Rose came up and leaned on the shelf besides me.

"We need to talk, Malfoy," she said breezily.

"What about, Weasely?"

"Love," she deadpans.

" _What about love? Even dementors feel it_ ," I remark, knowing that the fact is probably wrong.

"Are you in love with Albus? Because he has hella heart eyes for you," she confesses.

"That was so cringey never say that again, please. And I love him in a friend way. Why?"

"Al told me ab the kiss. Why did you kiss him if you don't like him like that?" She persisted.

I sighed and looked at her. "I don't know what's going on in my mind right now, Rose. I can't even remember the purpose of a mandrake and I'm pretty sure we learned that years ago."

She purses her lips and looks up at me. "Don't hurt him, Scorp. Don't." With that she flicks her hair over her shoulder and leaves me alone in my thoughts.

* * *

Reflecting on Rose's words I pushed to keep my friend ship as normal as I could with Albus. It had been almost a full school year since the summer kiss and since I still couldn't straighten my own mind out I didn't want to end up somewhere bad, or potentially hurt Albus.

One day, high on the victory of a house cup -the first one in our time at Hogwarts- and various sweets Mrs Potter had sent in Albus and I were lying on his bed. Our shoulders were pressed together as we looked up at the draping over the bed. We had been talking for hours it seemed when he leaned over slightly and brushed his lips over mine again. Every cell in my body told me this was right but my mind was fighting it. I oulled away, embarrassed.

"I...I...want to...I just can't," I finally said, looking inot his eyes which where twitching with desire and concern.

"I know what it's like to feel lost, Scorp. _There's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm here for you._ " Albus said.

I nodded and for the first time since Mum passed a flicker of hope surged through me.

* * *

Studying for N.E.W.T.S had everyone in a tizzy as Christmas holiday drew near. The stress of the real world was closing in on the seventh years and everyone was showing the wear and tear.

One night as I felt fatigue come over my body I closed my book and walked up to my dormatory. I changed and got ready for bed I saw Albus, bleary eyed and heavy limbed, enter the room.

"Hey, Al, can we talk for a moment?" I asked. He nodded and perched on the end of the of my bed.

"Sure. What's up, mate?" he says finally.

" _I thought I'd see how you're doing_ , with exams and all," I said.

"I'm good and I know you are," he says.

"Can you promise me something?" I blurt.

"Maybe."

"When things get crazy in the real world, don't push me away."

"I'm never going to push you away, Scorp," Al said, standing up and walking away.

I sighed, lowering my head into my hands and asked Merlin for sometype of miracle.

* * *

That miracle came in the form of a Slytherin graduation party with plenty of booze.

We were sitting on a couch in the common room when Albus held up his cup.

" _To us_. Friends forever," he said

Now, Albus and I were past tipsy wandering up the halls heading towards astronomy tower. As we walked and giggled Albus finally said something that made sense.

" _I know you feel what I feel_ ," he whispered.

And for once he was right. I finally sorted out my head and I knew that this friendship was something much more than just being best mates.

" _Even if I did feel something for you_ …" I started but trailed off become I could voice my concerns and fears.

" _Confusion, that's how you know there's something to find out_ ," he says, swerving slightly.

"Look at you all drunk and philosophical," I try to joke. Al laughs but it doesn't last long.

" _Emotions are never black and white; they're more like symptoms. You lose your breath everytime they enter a room, your heart beats faster when they ealk by, your skin tingles when they close enough for you to feel their breath,_ " he says, counting the 'symptoms' off on his fingers.

" _You've unlocked something in me_. A capability of love I never knew, you and you're family taught me so much," I say back.

We walk the rest of the way in silence. When we get into the tower we make the stupid drunken decision to climb onto the ledge, fingers entwined.

" _You're quite magical_ ," I whisper as I cling to him, feeling him next to me.

" _I can't breathe_ ," Albus answers, turning slightly to face me.

" _You will never cease to amaze me_ ," I tell him. I lean foward and for the first time capture his lips on mine.

* * *

We were lying on a couch in the common room the day after our last exams when Albus sits up and looks at me. " _We still haven't gone on our first date yet,_ " he says.

I sit up too and look at him. " _Do you wanna... I don't know get dinner sometime_?" i feel my cheeks go red.

He nods like a little kids getting offered ice cream.

* * *

We were standing outside of the Thai reasturant where we just ate, standing, facing each, other smiling uncontrolably.

Albus looks at me, goes red in the face and then says, "Scorpius Malfoy, _I love you._ "

" _I love you too,_ Albus Potter," I say. I take him into my arms and kiss him sweetly.


	2. Listed

I thought if I just followed the rules everything was going to be okay. ~Scorp

But Scorp, I plan to get to know you. ~Al

Are you okay? ~Al

It's nice getting to know you, you seem...charming. ~Al

Take what you need. ~Al

You'll be lonely all your life, you don't deserve that. ~Al / You don't deserve it either. ~Scorp

Thank you for your advice. ~Scorp

May I? ~Scorp / Free of charge.~Al

You're confusing me. ~Scorp

I'll leave if you ask me to. ~Scorp

If anything were to happen to you. ~Scorp

I wanted to see you again. ~Scorp

I don't need these, you have them. ~Al

What about love? Even dementors feel it. ~Scorp

I...I...want to...I just can't. ~Scorp

There's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm here for you. ~Al

I thought I'd see how you're doing. ~Scorp

When things get crazy in the real world, don't push me away. ~Scorp

To us. ~AlI thou

I know you feel what I feel. ~Al

Even if I did feel something for you…~Scorp

Confusion, that's how you know there's something to find out. ~Al

Emotions are never black and white; they're like symptoms. You lose your breath everytime they walk into a room, your heart beats faster when they walk by, your skin tingles when they're close enough for you to feel their breath. ~Al

You've unlocked something in me. ~Scorp

You're quite magical. ~Scorp

I can't breathe. ~Al

You will never cease to amaze me. ~Scorp

We still haven't gone on our first date yet. ~Al

Do you...I don't know want to get dinner sometime? ~Scorp

I love you. ~Al / I love you too. ~Scorp


End file.
